Breaking Down.

Right now so much is going on through my mind. I want to go back to the top of that mountain and scream on the top of my lungs to everyone. It is so hard for me to articulate the experience that I just went through.

Last week I was in Fort Collins, Colorado for an Athletes In Action, Ultimate Training Camp. This camp is targeted to college athletes who want to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. Here at Minnesota, I partake in a Bible study with my cross country team. We mostly run them ourselves, but we have a woman by the name of Alisha Kaiser come to oversee and give in her two cents, more like hundreds. Here at the U she is the leader of AIA (athletes in action) for women sports while her husband Luke leads all of the men sports. Anyway, Alisha and Luke have been advocating this camp all year to us and 11 gopher athletes (track, hockey, football, and softball) decided to sign up. The camp was filled up at the beginning of March and we got our plane tickets booked early. I remember counting down the days until we left and all of a sudden I have been home from camp for a week. They said it would go fast, and boy were they right.

Hmm, I will give you a little insight on a day at camp. We would wake up at 7 am and go to breakfast at the dinning hall. (We stayed at the Colorado State University campus) After breakfast the entire camp would meet in a common area, sing worship and learn one of the five principles for that day. These principles were; "Audience of One", "Inside Game", "Holy Sweat", "Hurtin' for Certain", and "Victory Beyond Competition". After that we would go outside and apply those principles to games of volleyball. We would have designated volleyball teams and we would play for at least 2 hours. Imagine Division 1 college athletes competing. Obviously we are all very competitive but we all left our ego's at home. Amazing! We would then go to lunch and get free time until dinner. After dinner we would meet and worship and break into our small groups. My small group consisted of 5 other girls and our leader, Alethea. These girls ranged in different sports, from Univ of Iowa cross country/track, ASU tennis, Winona St. cross country/track, Toledo swimming and UConn women's basketball. These women were amazing. We were all at different points in our walk with the Lord, but we helped each other so much. After the evening lesson we would then generally have free time to hang out with everyone and play games.

That was what a normal day was like...until Thursday. Thursday was the start of the SPECIAL. (Scriptural Principles + Exhaustion = Confidence In Almighty Lord). This was a 24 hour challenge that pushed you beyond your physical limits. The sports/games that we played included; volleyball, ultimate frisbee, a 25 minute push up relay, basketball, swimming relays, conditioning, 3.5 mile obstacle course at 4:45 am, kickball, sprint relays and ending with a half

mile run up a mountain with a 2x4 piece of wood on our backs. When you thought you could go no further you realized you had to turn to God. I came to the realization that your sport is not "yours" by any means. He gives me all the strength I need (Philippians 4:13). I realized this during basketball. Alright, I consider myself a fairly athletic person, but basketball...no no no. Not my forte by any means. Instead I would sit out and condition for 2 straight hours. I came in every game for about a minute, because that was part of the rules, but trust me, I was helping my team by not playing! Anyway, the conditioning on the side was grueling. I have the bruises to prove it. My arms could not hold me up anymore and I would collapse every time they had me do a push-up. I had bruises on my elbows, knees and even chin. This is when I broke. I surrendered it all to Him. I knew I needed Him. A photographer captured it perfectly. There is a picture of me doing a wall sit and I am crying my eyes out and pointing up. I was understanding how selfish I have been with my sport and I knew I needed to change. After all of the games, we were driven to the top of a foothill (more like mountain). I close my eyes and I still picture it clearly. The view was breathtaking. How can there not be a God?! We were told the final steps of Jesus' journey to His crucifixion and then given a piece of wood.

When it was my turn I took that wood and ran down. I was nervous and excited. Running is what I do, right? Let's just say this was not a normal run. We had just competed for hours upon hours straight and our bodies were physically broken. I reached the bottom of the hill and the leader of the camp looked at me and said, "talk with God. Show Him your heart. Tell Him if you are angry or hurting." I turned around looked up and put one foot in front of the other. Instantly He was there. It is so hard to explain this. I know what I experienced, I know what I felt and I know it was real. The entire way up I kept saying "You never gave up on me and I will never give up on You". There were so many times in my life that I wanted to give up, and many of you can attest to my struggles, but in that moment I knew He was not going anywhere. It was the most remarkable feeling. I get the chills again just thinking about it. When I started to crest the hill I saw everyone. All of my new best friends were there cheering me on, screaming "Who is this for? Give the glory to Him!".

I finished, I collapsed, I surrendered, I broke.

Later that night we went to the Rockies for a bonfire and a night of worship. Looking around the bonfire seeing all of these collegiate athletes with their arms raised praising God was the most wonderful sight in the world. We were in the most beautiful of places witnessing the most beautiful God.

I met some of the most amazing people during this week. I am going to be frank, my faith in the male gender was definitely restored. I forgot what a gentleman was like. Talking with these men of God reminded me that I do not need to lower my standards. They showed me that us women deserve to have a man that reflects God's image. So refreshing. I would like to give a shout out to them, so here you go, Tennessee, Michigan St., Georgia, all of the Florida schools, and every other guy that was there. For real, or should I say "ferrel", thanks for showing us that God does want the very best for us.

As for you women. I met some of the most remarkable girls this past week. The stories you told, the struggles you all have been through and how you have handled them through God's guidance helped me realize I am not alone out there. I know these women will be in my life for a long time to come and hopefully I will see a lot of them back at camp next year because I fully intend to return myself.

When I returned home I instantly felt attacked. I knew that since I was so on fire for God and I was spiritually on top of a mountain with God I could easily be pushed down. I am determined to stay strong. I need to stay in the Word and continue to pray a lot. I know all of my new friends will help hold me accountable for all that I do and I realize that God put them in my life for a reason. I am leaving for Italy in 5 days and I will be faced with challenges I was never expecting, but by doing all that I intend I hope to grow even more in my relationship with Jesus.

I was told an analogy last week that made me want to share my faith. Picture this. All of your loved ones (family, friends, and even acquaintances) are in a giant arena. God comes floating down in a hot air balloon and asks you to get in as well as your other friends who have given their life to Jesus. Then you take off towards heaven. As you look down you see many of your loved ones looking up at you yelling and asking why you never told them the good news. If you knew a way to get to heaven why did you not share that with them?!

Thinking about this I got chills, and to be honest, teary-eyed. There is no way I want that to happen. Some of the girls and I have already recruited people for next year's camp. I want everyone to experience God the way I did this past week.

I've been a Christian my entire life, but I officially committed my life to Jesus when I was 15. At that time I understood that God gave His only son for me. FOR ME! Crazy. The last few years have been a struggle and I had started to back away. However, I am excited to say that because of my experience in Colorado last week, I recommitted myself to Him.

I am on fire for Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

<3

A video of me running up! Some videos of worship!